So Keaton finally stopped calling everything we did at Disneyland gay when we went down the big drop on Splash Mountain.
I’m sure he’s gonna deny the hell out of it, but Keaton – yes, Keaton Penner the total badass second baseman – even liked Small World. Ok, he didn’t high-five me afterwards, but I caught him humming the song later on in the evening.
There were some chicks in our boat who were complaining about the ride and the song and…I just don’t get it. I mean, yeah, the song gets stuck in your head, but it’s a happy song and a happy ride…what’s not to like? With all the boringass bullshit you hear today about inclusion and diversity, here’s a ride that shows you how we all could come together. I’m not into deepass political thinking, but maybe people could take a lesson from the ride instead of bitching about it.
Since I have too many women in my life already, and I’ll tell y’all another time about what Keaton does to get chicks, we didn’t spend too much time checking the girls out. Still…we’re guys…so sometimes it’s hard not to lol. There wasn’t all that much to check out, since mothers with kids aren’t either of our thing, and all those girls there for Grad Night were too young. (Not a word about me liking older women!)
I didn’t use the Rate-a-Chick app (yeah, it’s a thing) that totals your ratings for the day and averages them out so you can decide what places have hotter chicks on the average. I reckon the eligible chicks at Disneyland averaged around 5.5. But then most people don’t try to look their best at Disneyland. After all, I was in just in a t shirt and camo cargo shorts…plus that big blue hat with Mickey ears. Put the same group of chicks together at a club with overpriced drinks and they’d probably average out around 7. The exception to not looking your best is a lot of the latina chicks, who put on all their makeup before going to Disneyland. Some of them were even in heels. So I guess if they were trying to get noticed it worked lol. And we might have spotted some 9s and 10s. It’s just that, like I already told y’all, I like ‘em curvy and blonde.
If one thing kinda sucked it was how long we had to wait for the fireworks, but the dude who worked there who we asked was right when he told us we needed to get a place in front of the castle no later than 8. But, hey, it’s Disneyland, people are in a good mood, and we Southerners and Texans are friendly people.
That’s when we ran into the dude who wrote that great bitcoin blog I keep telling y’all about. I’d first met him at Dodger Stadium last year, and, well, what are the odds that we’d be right next to him for fireworks at Disneyland? And on his birthday too!
I mean, seriously, what are the odds?
He was talking Spanish with a Mexican family, and Keaton joined in (I took German in school, so I was the only one who didn’t speak Spanish.) When the family found out it was the bitcoin dude’s birthday (he was wearing one of those Happy Birthday buttons…which really are super gay), they even sang him some kind of Mexican birthday song.
It was 9:30 almost before we knew it…and the fireworks were worth the wait. The bitcoin dude – who must know everything about Disney – told us that Disney was the second largest consumer of explosives in the US…after the government. After seeing the fireworks salute to Pixar, you can understand why. Dang. Disney just knocked it out of the park. Like a 475 foot homer out of the park.
I found a decent video of the fireworks in case y’all want to check them out. But there’s nothing like seeing them in person.
They were closing at midnight, so we had time for more rides (and churros) after the fireworks. Big Thunder Mountain got some adrenaline pumping. So did Snow White’s Scary Adventures…at least for that little girl ahead of us who was freaking out. I guess the ride is kinda scary: you sure see a lot of the Wicked Witch. We wound the night up by using our Space Mountain fastpasses, and I was half embarrassed by all the yee-haws from Keaton. I’m kidding. I was screaming too. A roller coaster ain’t no fun if you ain’t makin no noise. (No, that’s not one of Meemaw’s sayings lol.)
I’d have stayed longer, but they were closing, and I had work in the morning. We stopped off to grab ice cream cones on our way down Main Street. Then the line for the trams was long when we got there, so we took a look see at the big Disney Store…and I bought Keaton a t shirt:
Today’s the last I want to hear about there only being barbecue in Texas, man.
How’d he get me back? Easy:
“The question, bubba, is who by?”
Then the tram, the truck, and back to Pasadena. I was even too tired to go up to Keaton’s for a beer. Disneyland is awesome…but dang you come home tired.
My phone had also started going crazy with texts at around 10:00. I had a bunch of chicks trying to find out where I was…and Keaton made a rule about not messing around with our phones while we were at Disneyland. Maybe because he doesn’t have a girlfriend to text. Maybe so there’d be no chick drama to ruin the day. Or maybe because he’s jealous of my new iPhone.
Ooops. Looks like I blew the suspense on that one. I reckon it’s high time I told y’all anyway.