So y’all remember how Monica’s sister’s Persian fake boyfriend had this bigass watch…and made sure I saw it? A couple dudes came into the store this week, both of them with bigass watches, and both of them comparing them and what they cost. If you ask me it was like two gay guys comparing how … Continue reading Bigass Watches and the Men That Wear Them
Month: June 2018
Saturday Night with Monica (last part)
I think I told y’all that they know me late-night at the IHOP on Arroyo Parkway. I stop there a lot after hanging out with Monica so I can get a strawberry sundae. (Having a girlfriend who’s always on a diet sucks when you like dessert with dinner.) The hostess/waitress, Alicia, knows me. She’s dang … Continue reading Saturday Night with Monica (last part)
Saturday Night with Monica (part 3)
After Keaton scared the shit out of the bitchass Mexican dude who was trying to start a fight outside of the bar he works at, the totally hot chick bartender who was watching from the doorway hollered “last call!”. I headed for the entrance and passed Miguel and Keaton. Miguel fist-bumped me. Keaton still hadn’t … Continue reading Saturday Night with Monica (part 3)
Saturday Night with Monica (part 2)
After Monica and I had that bullshitass dinner with her bat shit crazy sister, we got into the Prius and drove back to her apartment in Burbank. I had Skynrd CD in the player and hoped I could drown Monica out with it, but, after like a minute, she reached over and turned it off. … Continue reading Saturday Night with Monica (part 2)
Saturday Night with Monica (part 1)
I'm not sure, but I may have given y’all the impression that, since I’ve woken up in Joyce’s bed, Monica’s out of the picture. She isn’t. We’re still having the same one dinner/Netflix/sex night a week we’ve been having for a long time, and I reckon it works. (It’d work better if I didn’t have … Continue reading Saturday Night with Monica (part 1)
Fathers Day (part 2)
I thought I was just going to write a few things about my Dad and then I guess I got kinda carried away. I split what I wrote into two parts, and I think you need to read the first one to understand what I'm going to say about Dad here. It comes down to … Continue reading Fathers Day (part 2)
Fathers Day (part 1)
Before I write about last night (and how I can’t stand Monica’s veganass sister Caroline), I thought I’d get into the spirit of Fathers Day and write something about Dad. I sent him a card (and a left-handed burger flipper off Amazon), but, since Dad gets uncomfortable if you write too much on a card, … Continue reading Fathers Day (part 1)
Dodgers 3 Rangers 2 (in 11)
Y’all may think that with everything going on with Joyce (like waking up in her bed) I’ve forgotten about baseball. Remember my priorities: baseball comes first…chicks (banging) comes fifth. So I’m gonna get back to what really matters. The good news is that the Dodgers don’t suck anymore. I’ve gone back to wearing a Dodgers … Continue reading Dodgers 3 Rangers 2 (in 11)
Dinner at Joyce’s (last part)
So…there I was… at Joyce’s…on the couch…with about 9 Stone beers in my system…with Joyce sitting next to me dressed in some kind of nightgown thing that wasn’t really a nightgown. Whatever it's called. But I had other problems. It was pretty clear that the next thing on the schedule was not changing the sim … Continue reading Dinner at Joyce’s (last part)
Dinner at Joyce’s (part 2)
So Joyce had served me the appetizer of the three course dinner she had cooked for me when I went over to have her put the sim card from my old phone into the new iPhone X she’d bought me. We were in the dining room by candlelight, and I could tell that it was … Continue reading Dinner at Joyce’s (part 2)
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