Y’all might be surprised that I’d want to talk to Meemaw about my situation with Joyce: do I keep the iPhone X she surprised me with?…and what do I do about her? Or I guess that should be with her lol.
From what I know about her, Joyce doesn’t play games like most LA chicks do. She may not even have wanted to put me into this situation. She said the phone was no strings attached and just to make me happy.
Maybe she means it.
Maybe she doesn’t.
And how can a $1200 present not have strings attached? Even if Joyce hasn’t attached any strings, how am I going to feel, knowing that I’ve accepted a super cool and super expensive phone from her? Every time I send a text I’m going to be reminded where I got the phone…right? So this really nice chick – who has plenty of money – gave it to me…because she thinks my eyes look like sapphires. (Maybe they do: it’s not the first time a chick’s said that to me lol.)
Whoa, hoss! You’re worrying about how you’re gonna feel? What are you – a chick? C’mon dude: you’re a dude. Be logical.
So it comes down to two issues: the phone and…dang it, do I have to call it “our relationship”?
Yeah: this good ole shortstop needs his Meemaw.
Like I said, y’all might be surprised that I would tell my grandmother about my…relationships with chicks, but, ever since I was dating Shoshanah Rabinowitz in high school, she’s the one who I’ve gone to for advice. Mom is too much a Southern Lady to talk about…let’s face it, I’m talking about sex here. And most of Dad’s advice about women is telling me that he’ll kill me if I get the girl pregnant. (He probably would. As a result, I’m always prepared.)
I wrote a while back that I have the most awesome grandmother in the world. And I do. She just gets me. She always has. She’s the one who told Dad that I cared about baseball a lot more than just a really good little leaguer cares about it. She helped me with my first real girlfriend, Shoshanah. (She wasn’t thrilled that she was Jewish…although she said better a Jew than a Catholic.) She had time to listen to me all the way through that relationship…all the way to how bad I felt after we broke up. (It really hurt, but dang you make a lot of drama in high school!) Meemaw was also there for me whenever I needed her when I had to make the most important decision of my life – if I should go back to play for the Crawdads for a second year.
Meemaw always has good advice. And usually a good saying to go with it, so you remember her good advice. Like “Things don’t stink because they smell good” (you’d be surprised how useful that one is) or “If you ain’t gettin paid, it ain’t no job.” (Meemaw doesn’t really talk like that most of the time. But she wants good Southern wisdom to sound good and Southern.)