So the Pasadena Parrots had a bring your girlfriend Labor Day cookout at one of our outfielder’s parents’ house in San Marino. The house was amazing, and had like a whole park for a backyard. Obviously with a swimming pool and tennis court. I don’t play tennis, but I never pass up a chance at a swimming pool…and this one was like a small lake. Great for laps and great for just messing around in the water. Practically the first thing I did after we got there was change into my board shorts and jump into the pool. Keaton and Sloppy Joe were already splashing around when I got there, and a couple other guys were going in and out of the water. The only chick who was willing to get wet was Keaton’s fake date, Dani, who probably didn’t want to miss the chance to put on a two-piece bathing suit. (It was pretty much a bikini and she looked as hot in it as she does dressed. We all got to see that she’s got some tattoos in all the right places.)
She wasn’t the only one who was getting stared at in their bathing suit. I was climbing out of the pool so I could jump in again (we were having a biggest splash contest), right when Adam’s husband was looking…and the dude’s jaw literally dropped and his tongue almost fell out of his mouth. Okay, everyone looks hot climbing out of a pool, but this was so obvious it was funny.
Good thing Adam has a sense of humor. He thought it was hilarious that his husband couldn’t take his eyes off me for the rest of the day. Maybe that’s a good thing about gay marriages: they’re both dudes who don’t get all jealous and stupidass like chicks do. Besides, Adam knew that Clark had zero chance with me lol.
Ok, I’ll admit it, I got more wrapped up in the pool than Joyce, and, yeah, I did kind of leave her all on her own. That was a dumbass move on my part. The only people she knew there were Keaton and Sloppy Joe (and she barely knew them), and they were both in the pool with me. The guys on the team are some of the friendliest people I’ve ever met in California, but it was probably awkward for all the girlfriends, and not just Joyce. But once I’d dried off she kinda let me have it for “abandoning” her. Not like she made a big scene in public like Monica or anything. It was worse: she just looked sad and said she was disappointed in me.
So you’re at a cookout with a bunch of strangers…so you start a conversation with them. That’s what I’d have done. But I’ve noticed that we Southerners are friendlier that way. And ok, I’m not totally clueless…Joyce was probably worried because she was older than all the other girlfriends.
What saved it was Clark and Adam. (I reckon both of them are older than Joyce.) Once he saw how Clark couldn’t keep his eyes off me, Adam went up to Joyce and told her to watch out because she had some competition. When she found out that Adam meant Clark, she burst out laughing…and then she spent the rest of the day talking to them.
So she made friends after all.
And I reckon Adam and Clark didn’t have a whole lot in common either with our pitcher’s Asian girlfriend or the young Latino girl who was there with Travis lol. Joyce and them really hit it off – like they exchanged phone numbers and made plans to get together. (I hope without me. Clark staring at me and following me around like a hypnotized puppy started getting annoying.) I think Clark said he was a decorator; Joyce has been talking about getting her house redecorated.
Maybe I can get her a discount lol.
Joyce getting mad at me was kinda a buzzkill after I’d had so much fun in the pool, but everything was okay by the time it was time to eat. It was hot dogs and burgers – but not Block Burgers. I missed those, especially since Labor Day was when we had the last ones of the year. (I told everybody about Block Burgers. They all said they sounded awesome. Maybe I do need to get that chili recipe from Dad.)
I was in a mood for hot dogs, and Sloppy Joe and I kinda got into a hot dog eating contest. It wasn’t anything grossass like a stuff as many hot dogs in your face as you can in 60 seconds contest. We were just seeing who could eat the most hot dogs. (They had plenty of relish. So, yeah, I reckon rich people do eat relish after all.) Y’all might be surprised to find out that I won, even if Sloppy Joe is way bigger than I am. It only took 7 hot dogs to win 20 bucks off him.
And I still had room for ice cream afterwards lol.
Ok, fine. I always have room for ice cream.
When they brought out the ice cream, I started telling everyone how good a beer float is. I was totally bulshitting, but it’s a good way to prank someone into putting a scoop of ice cream into their beer and finding out how super gross it is. Travis fell for it. He even fell for it when I told him that chocolate ice cream works best.
We all had a good laugh when he had to run inside to spit it out. And I don’t blame him for falling for it. I was 19 when I fell for it too lol.
We all had a good time. At least until the drive home.