Introducing the Blocks

Mom’s started reading my blog. She says she likes it and maybe they do teach you to write after all at Maryville High. Mom came for a visit in January and hated Monica on sight, so she really liked the Valentine’s Day report. Okay, she liked the strip club part less, and asked why I had to tell the whole world about it, but she also said there were a lot worse things I could have done. I reckon she trusted Keaton when he told her he’d keep me from getting into any serious trouble.

Mom hasn’t really said anything about Joyce. But she did say she wished I wouldn’t refer to my car as a shitbox, although it’s Keaton and not me who came up with that.   And Mom, since you’re probably reading this, I’d be glad to stop calling my car a shitbox if you and Dad would chip in and help me buy a truck.

Mom did say that I ought to tell y’all something about my background straight out, instead of leaving hints in every post. I told her I didn’t want this to sound like a resume…

…but here goes.

Name: Hunter Wesson Ashley Block

Nicknames: Hunt, Blockhead, Blocker, Heartthrob

Born: November 8, 1992

Age: 25

Place of Birth: Maryville, TN

Education: Middle Tennessee State University, B.S. in Leisure Studies

Current Employer: Supervisor, The Gap, Pasadena CA

Previous Job: Starting Shortstop, Hickory (NC) Crawdads

Hits: Right

Throws: Right

Batting Average (2015 pro season): .275

Batting Average (college): .312

OBPS (pro): 0.871

Ball cap size: 7 ½

Religion: Methodist

Race: White

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Light Brown

Height: 5’11”

Weight: 185

I guess I need to add that I’m male and straight…and never wasted any time wondering if I was anything else lol.

So now you know what my batting average was… and that I didn’t leave off playing baseball because I sucked.

Mom (Ophelia Scarlett Block) and Dad (Wesson Hunter Block) still live in Maryville, although Dad works in Knoxville. I’m the only boy in the family, and I have four sisters:   Elizabeth Scarlett is five years older than me, Melanie Catherine is less than a year younger than me, and there are two years between her and Portia Ann and another two years between Portia Ann and Cordelia Sophie.

Mom was mostly in charge of choosing our names. Except mine: there was never any question that the first boy was going to be named for Papaw and get Dad’s name in the middle. (Ashley was obviously Mom’s idea.)

Melanie Kate and I were only one grade apart growing up, and I’m closer to her than I am to my other sisters. I beat up a lot of boys on Melanie Kate’s account when we were growing up. (I didn’t exactly mind lol.) She married her high school sweetheart, Jared. He’s an awesome guy, and was our starting third baseman on the Maryville Rebels. Thanks to Melanie Kate and Jared, I have two awesome nephews, one of who is just old enough to think that his ball player uncle is the coolest dude in the world.

I can’t leave Meemaw out, or Meemaw Block, or Carrie Ann Block if you want to be totally official about it. She’s a Georgia farm girl who married a Tennessee farm boy (that’d be Papaw.) After Papaw died, she sold the farm and moved to Maryville to be with her son and grandkids – and made sure that her apartment was a couple bus stops away from our house. I have the most awesome grandmother in the world and she makes the best coconut cake in the world. I should ask her if I can put the recipe in my blog. Or would a recipe in my blog be too gay?

So that’s me and the family – kinda like all the Blocks blended together into a smoothie. We’re a good family, no crazier than most, and maybe less crazy than a lot of other families. (I’ve been to Thanksgiving dinner with Monica and her family. You thought Valentine’s Day was bad? On Thanksgiving there should have been umpires stationed on each side of the table. A team of psychiatrists in the next room would have been a good idea, too. Wanna know something scary? Monica is the normal one in the family.)

I hope that wasn’t too much information about us. Or that you feel like you need a scorecard to keep track of it all.

Don’t worry. There’s not going to be a test.

 

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