Saturday Night with Monica (part 2)

After Monica and I had that bullshitass dinner with her bat shit crazy sister, we got into the Prius and drove back to her apartment in Burbank. I had Skynrd CD in the player and hoped I could drown Monica out with it, but, after like a minute, she reached over and turned it off. … Continue reading Saturday Night with Monica (part 2) →

Saturday Night with Monica (part 1)

I'm not sure, but I may have given y’all the impression that, since I’ve woken up in Joyce’s bed, Monica’s out of the picture. She isn’t. We’re still having the same one dinner/Netflix/sex night a week we’ve been having for a long time, and I reckon it works. (It’d work better if I didn’t have … Continue reading Saturday Night with Monica (part 1) →

Fathers Day (part 2)

I thought I was just going to write a few things about my Dad and then I guess I got kinda carried away. I split what I wrote into two parts, and I think you need to read the first one to understand what I'm going to say about Dad here. It comes down to … Continue reading Fathers Day (part 2) →

Fathers Day (part 1)

Before I write about last night (and how I can’t stand Monica’s veganass sister Caroline), I thought I’d get into the spirit of Fathers Day and write something about Dad. I sent him a card (and a left-handed burger flipper off Amazon), but, since Dad gets uncomfortable if you write too much on a card, … Continue reading Fathers Day (part 1) →

Dodgers 3 Rangers 2 (in 11)

Y’all may think that with everything going on with Joyce (like waking up in her bed) I’ve forgotten about baseball. Remember my priorities: baseball comes first…chicks (banging) comes fifth. So I’m gonna get back to what really matters. The good news is that the Dodgers don’t suck anymore. I’ve gone back to wearing a Dodgers … Continue reading Dodgers 3 Rangers 2 (in 11) →

Dinner at Joyce’s (last part)

So…there I was… at Joyce’s…on the couch…with about 9 Stone beers in my system…with Joyce sitting next to me dressed in some kind of nightgown thing that wasn’t really a nightgown. Whatever it's called. But I had other problems. It was pretty clear that the next thing on the schedule was not changing the sim … Continue reading Dinner at Joyce’s (last part) →

Dinner at Joyce’s (part 2)

So Joyce had served me the appetizer of the three course dinner she had cooked for me when I went over to have her put the sim card from my old phone into the new iPhone X she’d bought me. We were in the dining room by candlelight, and I could tell that it was … Continue reading Dinner at Joyce’s (part 2) →

Dinner at Joyce’s (part 1)

So I was over at Joyce's to have her put the sim card in the iPhone she'd given me and she was making me dinner too. She kept disappearing into the kitchen, and leaving me alone on the couch. I don’t like just sitting around like a bump on a log, and I wasn’t going … Continue reading Dinner at Joyce’s (part 1) →

Back to the iPhone

In case y’all missed the end of my last Disneyland post, the answer to the question you’ve all been wondering about is: Yes. I kept the iPhone X Joyce gave me. It sat on my bureau for almost a week, until I just decided to open the dang thing. I thought about Meemaw’s advice and I … Continue reading Back to the iPhone →

Disneyland (last part)

So Keaton finally stopped calling everything we did at Disneyland gay when we went down the big drop on Splash Mountain. I’m sure he's gonna deny the hell out of it, but Keaton – yes, Keaton Penner the total badass second baseman – even liked Small World. Ok, he didn’t high-five me afterwards, but I … Continue reading Disneyland (last part) →