When I got to the Bedrossian house yesterday, the day after my first appearance on At Home with Maya, Belen let me in, took my temperature, and then told me Sandy was looking for me.
“Good you stopped by,” Sandy said when I got to her office. There was a glint in her eyes that reminded me what a beautiful blue they are. “I have some good news for you.”
“What is it?,” I asked, puzzled.
“You’re a hit on TV.”
“Didn’t you know that the first segment with you in it aired last night?”
“Yes. I watched it with my buddy and my (real slight pause but I remember doing it) girlfriend last night. After the ballgame.”
“Of course the Dodgers would take precedence over your TV debut,” Sandy said with her hot laugh. “What did they think?”
“They liked it.” I couldn’t very well tell Sandy that Keaton thought the show was totally gayass. “My mom called this morning and told me she liked it too. She said you could tell what a nice relationship I have with Jacob and Matteo.” I didn’t tell Sandy that I talked to Meemaw too; she said I was gonna get myself noticed. Seems like Meemaw was right again.
“There’s some buzz on Maya’s Facebook page about the baseball teacher.” I guess I frowned a little, since Sandy said: “their term, not mine.”
“Oh,” I said. At least they weren’t calling me a gym teacher, although so far they only got to see me working on baseball with the boys, so they’d obviously be thinking of me as a baseball teacher.
“Did anybody complain about the ratty shorts?,” I asked.
Sandy laughed. “No…but a couple viewers said you looked very sexy unshaven. So maybe I was wrong about that.”
“Sexy? But they couldn’t see the whole center part of my face. I had a mask on. How can they tell?”
“I guess from your gorgeous blue eyes. And they could see the sides of your face. One of the things we’ve discovered about masks on TV is that they get people guessing at what’s underneath them. One woman wrote that you had cute ears. Another said she’s going to be a very disappointed if you don’t turn out to be good-looking when your mask comes off.” Sandy paused and smiled again. “She doesn’t have to worry. And don’t forget they got a good look at your body, ratty shorts and all.”
I could see the look on Sandy’s face, so I asked:
“What all did they have to say about that?”
“Well…,” she said, “one woman from Pocatello said it looked like someone could bounce a quarter off your butt.”
I blushed to the top of my ears.
And so much for the ratty shorts lol.
“There’s not a whole lot of comments, I don’t think it’s more than 30” (that’s not a whole lot?, I thought) “but there are enough to have gotten us thinking that we need to show you without a mask on.”
“How do you intend to do that? You said Maya is super strict about masks and social distancing.”
“Easy,” Sandy said. “We get you in the pool. Make good on the boardshorts investment we made. It was Ethan’s idea first, but it’s a good one. Everyone’s behind it.”
“So I have to appear in boardshorts in front of a national TV audience?”
“We’re internationally syndicated too,” Sandy said, not helping matters. “It’s not like you don’t look great. You can’t be like Matteo and complain that you don’t appear in public in a bathing suit.”
Yeah…I need to work with him on that one.
“Don’t forget you’ll be with the boys…it’s not going to be a whole segment about the good-looking baseball teacher with the juicy butt…”
“Wait,” I said, “did someone say that too?”
“Actually that was me,” said Sandy. “You’re so cute when you blush like that. I can tell you’re doing it even with a mask on. Did you know your ears turn red too?”
“Yes,” I said, burying my face in my hands, which only made me feel like more blood was rushing to my face.
Sandy cut me some slack and let me pull myself together. Then she said:
“So be prepared for a spontaneous pool segment to be filmed Monday. Make sure you bring along more than one pair of boardshorts, just in case Ethan doesn’t like your first choice. And plan something for the boys to do in the pool.”
“If it’s the pool, it’s gonna be just Jacob,” I said. “I keep trying with Matteo, but he won’t budge on the swimming issue. He’s going along with the gym work and he’s started to be okay with getting a little sweaty…but he simply won’t go in the pool. Like you said…he keeps using some lameass line about not appearing in a bathing suit in public.” Which, I thought, is what they all were trying to get me to do.
Sandy read my thoughts again. “If Matteo looked like you do in a bathing suit, I don’t think he’d have issues.”
That got me blushing all over again. It was totally out of control – it gets that way with me sometimes – and all I wanted to do was get out of Sandy’s office before she could get another chance to tell me how cute I looked.
“Ok,” I said, “I’ll plan something in the water with Jacob.”
“I’ll tell Ethan,” Sandy said. “Just make it look spontaneous.”
Since I had no idea what I was going to do, I was pretty sure it would come off looking spontaneous. Well…as spontaneous as anything else on At Home with Maya