The Axe Falls

Well…as Joyce has been saying, ‘the axe has fallen’. I got laid off from the L****** today, although Mr. Balsam apologized a dozen times about having to lay me off after he said it wouldn’t happen. He also made it very clear that I was just getting laid off and that my job would be waiting for me as soon as things got back to normal…

Whenever that is.

I get the feeling that ‘whenever’ isn’t going to be any time soon. This ain’t something that’s going to go on for weeks, it’s gonna go on for months. They’re already telling parents that kids shouldn’t expect to go back to school before the summer vacation starts, and that’s three months away.

Yeah, I’m pretty fuckin depressed being out of a job, especially when I was so excited to have found one in the first place. I’m not totally fucked, since I can collect unemployment based on both the Gap and the hotel…so I’ll have some income, possibly enough to cover my rent (I’m not sure since I’m not sure how much I’m going to end up getting)…but I’m afraid it won’t be enough for luxuries like, I don’t know, food.

Yes, I do have my income from baseball tutoring, and Lucas’, Cody’s and Noah’s parents have all kept me on…assuming that I use a shitload of hand sanitizer and stand 6’ away from their kids. That’s not so easy when you want to show them how to do something with a bat, but we’re finding ways to work in this weirdass way. I think the kids are as glad as I am to have something to do. There’s no little league and no high school league games, so at least having me come over and practice ground balls lets them have some involvement with baseball. Let’s just hope that the parents can still continue to afford to pay me, since they’re probably gonna be feeling the pinch too. I know that people over in Beverly Hills care a lot about how they look, but it botox really going to be a priority? And how do you inject botox into someone and keep up with ‘social distancing’? So I get the feeling that Daphne’s business isn’t going to be doing so well for the duration.

Simone, on the other hand, is gonna be dang busy as a social worker. Unfortunately for everyone in that house, it’s Daphne who makes most of the money.

The Andrews have money, that’s obvious…but I’m less sure about Noah’s father. He looks like he has money (and he can always sell his Patek Philippe online lol), but I think he’s in the entertainment industry, and I understand things aren’t filming and shit like that, so he may be in just as bad a situation as I am. It doesn’t matter how much you were making when you’re not making it anymore.

Keaton’s pretty dang depressed, and, for him to let on that he’s depressed, he must really be depressed. He wasn’t making huge amounts of money at the Volcano, but it was something and it went towards his expenses. He says he also already misses being surrounded by people and having social interaction. Me and him are still going back and forth between each others’ apartments – if families can do that, so can we – but, now that I’m not going to work either, we’re gonna be practically the only people we see. Good thing Keaton has the punching bag in his apartment. From the way we’re using it, I hope it survives the crisis lol.

The guys in school – Travis, Trey, Cody, Lucas, Noah and Luke – are all upset at how classes have basically stopped. The only one of those who doesn’t think that online classes are bullshit is Travis, although I wonder how long his patience is gonna hold out.

Softball’s been cancelled too, so the only way to stay in touch with the Parrots is by text and shit. We set up a group chat last night, but it ended up being pretty lameass pretty quickly. It’s easier to text the other guys individually. Some of them are working remotely from home and holding onto their jobs, but Dave’s been laid off from his job as a waiter…and our new pitcher, Ryan, also isn’t working since his job was in a restaurant too. He texted me and said he’s real worried and doesn’t know what he’s going to do about rent…and the last thing anyone wants is for him to become homeless again in the middle of a crisis like this.

The one of us who’s doing the best (relatively speaking) is Joyce. Her company is still functioning, and she’s actually started getting busy at home from the work they send her. So she’s ok financially. She’s just real lonely up in that house all by herself.

Me, Keaton and Joyce are worried about Mrs. LaSalle, who’s also all alone in her condo, and who’s very at-risk for catching the coronavirus because of her age. We’re all in touch with her, and we’d all like to visit…but we’re afraid that we might bring the virus into her condo. That’s why she’s isolated from her family too. They call it ‘self-isolation’, and, for someone as lively as Mrs. LaSalle, that’s got to be a pain in the ass. Keaton’s gone grocery shopping for her, and we’re doing what we can, but she may be having the hardest time of us all.

And, back to me…I know it’s not all about me…and I know the world doesn’t revolve around Hunter Wesson Ashley Block, but I’m super upset about getting laid off…and I’m not looking forward to not having anything to do. I went to the batting cage (Chuy’s still open…like I told y’all earlier, people are very into getting their cars washed and sanitized) and beat the fuck outta baseballs for half an hour, and that kinda helped…but I’m not looking forward to living like this for a long time…and I know it’s gonna be a long time before things get normal again.

I believe Mr. Balsam when he says that I’ll have a job…but who knows when that’ll be? And will things ever be normal again? I know it’s super depressing, but, let’s say this turns into a terrible pandemic like the Spanish Flu where 27% of the people in the world got it…and where at least 17 million people (probably more) died. That means 1 in 4 people were infected…which means that 2.5 Parrots will get it on the average… I realize it’s not likely that this will get that bad – the Spanish Flu was the worse epidemic in history according to what I’ve read – but, still, it’s a depressing thought…and I’m seriously depressed here.

I suck at being depressed, because I’m usually a pretty cheerful dude. Keaton’s brooding a lot of the time too, so he’s not around to cheer me up…and Joyce is doing her best (she’s even said that she’ll help me out with the rent if I can’t make it on what I make from unemployment.) Rico and Carla have closed the studio, so we don’t even have dancing lessons to go to. That was a disappointment, because (believe it or not) I started getting into it. I even started to feel that I could feel the rhythm of the music. Well…we’ll get back to it. I hope. I may be the next Fred Astaire yet lol.

I hope I get the chance soon. I know y’all probably think everything is totally weirdass and sucks too, but… You know the saying ‘misery loves company’? Here’s another part of the problem: how can you have misery in company when you have to stand 6’ away from everybody else?