Turner Finally Gets Back to Me about THuG

So back when I was explaining THuG, the baseball stat me and my buddies Gardner and Turner invented when we were in high school, I told y’all that I emailed Turner to get the exact coefficients. That was weeks ago, and it took him until now to answer. Turner was super busy with March Madness, although you’d think basketball wouldn’t take up that much of an Alabama sportswriter’s time lol. So now that baseball season’s started and he has important stuff to write about, he finally found time to get back to me.

There’s nothing too personal in the email, so I reckon I’ll just post the whole thing. Turner said I could. He’s a sportswriter…he likes it when people read his writing. He likes talking about it even more lol.

So here goes:


Hey man,

I’m real sorry it’s taken me this long to get back to you about THuG. But you should have remembered the formula on your own anyway. LOL. Yeah, I do still use it, I just forget every year just how much work it is compiling the data. We really should have thought twice about the clutch hitting bonus. We clearly had more time in high school than we do now. You really do gotta put me in touch with that kid who’s working on a THuG algorithm.

Things are good down here. They’re keeping me busy…and it looks like they’re going to have me doing color on some of the Biscuits’ radio broadcasts. The team’s got a new manager and I think they’ll have a good season. Of course they’re no 2016 Hickory Crawdads with their superstar shortstop, but they work hard and play hard. I like watching them and I still think it’s cool getting to go into the locker room and getting to know the guys.

Things haven’t changed since the last time I texted you about Faith. I still don’t know when and how to ask her, and there are times when I think it might be a huge mistake. I got so afraid that she’d find the ring in my sock drawer that I moved it to (I ain’t tellin y’all where Turner hid the engagement ring he bought the girl he’s been living with for two years lol) and locked it up. She’ll never find it there. I think she’s the right one, but I wish there were some way to be sure. You and I both have parents who are still married after all these years, and I’d like it to be like that with the girl I marry. Maybe you have it easier being a heartbreaker. Oh, wait, that’s not your nickname. It’s Heartthrob. LOL. I can’t believe that you know a lesbian who calls you that. Weird shit is happening to you in California, man.

Do you hear from Gardner? I got a card from him and Jenifer at Christmas, but nothing since then. See – there’s a marriage that’s going wrong. I don’t want to end up like Gardner. He never answers my texts. Maybe you have more luck with him. Let me know.

Anyway, back to THuG. You had most of the numbers right, but you left out one very important category: RBIs. What were you thinking, man?

Here are the coefficients:


Single: 1.25

Double: 2.75

Triple: 3.25

Home Run: 5

Robbed Home Run: 2

Walk: 1.0

(No points for getting hit by a pitch. LOL.)

Stolen Bases

1.5 for the first one, 2.75 for the second one, 3.75 for stealing home


extra 1.0 if you score after a hit or a walk


–.05 for swinging

–.0.75 for looking


2.0 for each run resulting from an AB

Clutch Hitting

extra 1.0 for any hit in the 7th inning or later when the team is behind

Every time I calculate Ks I always laugh at how we made the penalty bigger for looking than for swinging. That was you and Gardner…and Coach Handelman. Remember how he’d go ballistic whenever someone struck out looking? He taught y’all well. That’s how you got the lowest strikeout rate on the team at MT.

I hope that answers your readers’ questions. I like your blog, man. You even sound like you do when you talk. And your mom would be proud of how few grammar mistakes there are. You do make a few, but it’s a blog, and it’s cool that you sound like a good ole Southern boy when you write. I’m glad you don’t sound like a California surfer boy.

Text me, man. I need advice about the ring. LOL.


Told y’all he was a good guy. But he’s right about Gardner. I haven’t heard from him in months either. I’m getting worried…but you can’t make someone text you back.

So let me just remind y’all how you calculate THuG. It’s pretty simple. You just take each AB a player has and score him using the coefficients in the list. So let’s say he hits a single, knocks in a run and steals a base. That comes to 3.75. You add up all the ABs (and walks) in a game, divide by the total number of ABs (and walks) and you got the player’s THuG for that game. Turner’s right: there’s a lot of raw data involved, but I reckon he’s right when he said we had more time in high school. I don’t know how Lucas is doing working on the algorithm; I’ll ask him next session we have.

Who knows? Maybe Andrew Friedman reads my blog and he’ll start using THuG instead of WAR.

If you do, Andrew, remember to give me, Gardner and Turner credit lol.



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