To celebrate my 26th birthday last week (it’s November 8…make a note for next year lol), Joyce took me out for a great steak dinner. Then we went back to her house, where there were baseball decorations and a Dodgers ice cream cake – which was dope. She’d been acting nervous since we got back to her house, and I guessed it was about because she was fixin to give me my present. I’m not talking a little nervous like she could hide it. I’m talking sweating like a whore in church nervous.
So finally she went to the bedroom and came back with the most beautifully wrapped package I’d ever seen. It wasn’t big, but she’d done it all in red with all kinds of ribbons and stuff. It was almost a shame to tear the wrapping, but she said I should just go ahead.
So I did. By this time, she was making me nervous too. I told myself that I had to look like I liked it, whatever it was, since she was obviously so worried that I wouldn’t. There was box inside, and a velvet jewelry box inside that, and inside that was…
A necklace just like the one Cody Bellinger wears on the field. I’ve never seen his close up, but I could tell this was the same thing. It has these dark beads (I guess you’d call them) that sparkle some in the light without sparkling too much. It’s hard to describe. In any case, it’s not one of those bigass gold necklaces you see on a lot of baseball players. Not even close. It’s cool. Dang cool.
“Do…you like it?”
I wasn’t sure how “fuck yeah!” would have sounded as an answer, so I toned it down some and said “of course I like it – it’s awesome.” But “fuck yeah!” was closer to how I felt. I reckon I didn’t realize how many times during the season I said I liked the necklace, but, looking back, I probably did say it a lot. I didn’t even realize that I really wished I had one until I had one in my hands. But I did.
The first thing I did was put it on. Inside my shirt, the way Bellinger should wear his. I already had the first couple buttons on my shirt unbuttoned, so, once I took off my tie, you could see the necklace real well. Joyce said it looked sexy. I got up to look at myself in the bathroom mirror. It looked awesome. I hope Joyce saw how much I was smiling when I came back into the living room.
Even now that I was wearing one, I still wasn’t sure what the necklace was made of. Turns out Joyce had to do some work finding out herself. She’s got an Armenian friend who has a jewelry store on Colorado, and she went to him to find out about the Bellinger necklace. The Armenian dude’s not a baseball fan, so he didn’t know what she was talking about.
I reckon I really did talk a lot about the necklace, since she knew the story about how both Bellinger and Joc Pederson bought the same necklace on the same day from the same jeweler in Milwaukee, without knowing that the other had bought it too. (Pederson doesn’t wear his much. You gotta admit: necklace twinsies really is gay lol.) So Joyce told her friend the story, and he did some research in the jewelry world. Sure enough, he had a friend who was a Dodgers fan who knew the story. Then that dude did some detective work, and came up with what he said was exactly the same necklace that Bellinger and Pederson had.
I was a little shocked when Joyce then told me it was made out of black diamonds.
The next thing she told me was that black diamonds aren’t nearly as expensive as white diamonds, since, well, they’re black and diamonds are supposed to be clear. I reckon that makes sense. She said it didn’t cost “a fortune” – but that I shouldn’t try and look it up on the Internet. I reckon she’s right about that too, so I haven’t.
And, unlike the Apple Watch, it made me very happy. Even if I could already hear Keaton saying it was gay.
Oh — here’s a picture of Bellinger wearing our necklace:
Of course it looks better on me lol. At least Joyce says so.
(That wasn’t the end of my birthday celebration. I went out the next night with my buddies from the Parrots.)