So I made a bet my senior year at MT with my roommate Jackson that I could have sex with 30 chicks in 30 days. I told y’all about the two faculty members who made my list. There was also one chick who worked in administration.
She was the head of “player relations” in the athletic department. I never understood what that title meant. I do reckon it didn’t refer to the way she got screwed by every member of the baseball team in her office. It wasn’t until senior year that I got to have sex on her desk, so maybe she was saving me for last lol. That worked out just fine, since senior year was when I had that bet to win.
I really did have a legitimate reason for going to see her that October. I just don’t remember what it was. I’m not sure we even discussed it. I sat down in her office, she sat on her desk with her legs in my face. After I put a hand on her leg, she got up, locked the door, and shoved everything off her desk so that it went all over the floor. The rest didn’t take too long, but it filled up one more spot on my list.
Honestly, the thing I remember most about that time was helping her to pick everything up off the floor after I was done. It made me realize that doing it on a desk is nowhere near as hot as you think it’s gonna be. I’ll take a seminar table over a desk any day.
So 3 older chicks. The rest were all undergrads like me.
One was my ex-girlfriend – the one who insisted that we split every check straight down the middle. We broke up junior year, but, well, y’all know what happens when you get together with an ex-girlfriend…
So how many does that make? 5, right? I gotta admit that there wasn’t a whole lot that was memorable about most of the other 25. Just me and one willing college chick after another. Two people having sex because they want to is no big deal, and I don’t reckon it matters too much why they’re having sex. So I was doing it on a bet. I reckon the chicks had their reasons too. The bottom line is the same: we both got laid.
There were some close calls. One chick didn’t show up and it was too late to find a replacement, so I had to double up the next day, matinee and evening lol. (The matinee was scheduled. I then had to go and dig up a chick for my evening performance.) I had to double up another day too, but that was my fault. I got mixed up and told Chick A on Monday to come on Wednesday at 8:00 and told Chick B on Tuesday to come Wednesday at 10:00. That was cutting it close even for me.
My screw up also meant that I needed a chick for that Tuesday. No problem there. Every high school in the South has a cheerleader who fucked the entire baseball team before graduation. I can spot them a mile away. I spotted one that Tuesday.
So Wednesday came, and Chick A showed up ten minutes late. Then, after we were done, she wanted to cuddle. It’s a super lameass word, but I’ll do it if I like the chick. I didn’t really like this one, and I had a much hotter chick coming in like an hour. I went along with it until I could come up with a decent excuse for having to be somewhere else. Of course my fake excuse turned out to be in the same direction as she was going, so I had to walk with her for a few blocks. Clock ticking here. Finally I told her I had to go back and get something I’d forgotten. I ran like I was trying to score from 1st, made the bed (I didn’t shower or change the sheets; I know it was totally gross of me), and was ready with like 30 seconds to spare. Good thing Chick B was as hot as she was lol. Here’s some good advice: if you’re going to have sex with 2 chicks in 2 hours, make sure the hotter chick comes last.
Y’all have probably guessed that I won the bet. Yes: I had sex with 30 chicks in 30 days in October, 2014. (I actually did it in 28 days with 2 days off lol.) Jackson wasn’t exactly happy for me when I told him I’d won, probably because he’d been celebrating Halloween with more shots than he should have. That sucked a little, since I was dang proud of myself, and I couldn’t tell anyone else what I’d done. We threw the list into a campus Halloween bonfire (we made extra sure it got deep into the flames), and he called me a pretty boy again.
I told him fine, so I’m a pretty boy. At least pretty boys get laid like bricks at a construction site.
He was in a better mood in the morning (after a few Mountain Dews), so we did get to laugh about it. And we logged onto Amazon so I could pick out my glove. I chose the X2 Elite Series (we both knew I would), in the 11.25” size. I was real excited when it came (this was before everyone had Amazon Prime and you had to wait a few days before things showed up in the mail), and it looked and smelled as awesome as it looked in the picture. I’m still not sure which parts are kangaroo leather. I know kangaroo leather sounds weird, but, hey, kangaroos have pouches…so it makes sense they’d make good gloves out of them lol. The glove was super supple and ready to go right out of the box, ,just like the Nokona folks said it would be. I used it for most of my senior season at MT, and it helped me win the team MVP award that year.
I went back to a Rawlings when I when I turned pro, but I still have the Nokona. I even got it one of those display cases you get for signed gloves. Okay, so the Nokona wasn’t signed by Cal Ripken Jr or Corey Seager, but I reckon a glove you got for banging 30 chicks in 30 days is worth showing off.
So you know how you feel about hot dogs the morning after you get carried away at a cookout and eat 7 of them? That’s how I felt about chicks on November 1 lol.
It was two whole weeks before I wanted another hot dog.
And, no…she wasn’t one of the 30.