So I bet my roommate Jackson that I could sleep with 30 chicks in 30 days.
He was completely tore up and I was buzzed when we made the bet. We then sat around in the bar until after 1:00 coming up with the rules. Nothing as confusing as the infield fly rule lol – but there still had to be rules. An expensive glove was on the line.
The main thing we had to settle was how I was going to prove that I’d gone to bed with all 30 girls. This was back in 2014, and things hadn’t gotten totally crazyass on college campuses, but those things were starting. So we had to be careful. That meant no physical evidence that could get in the wrong hands (like…deans), so pictures every time I scored were out. We even decided not to text about the bet. There was to be no telling anyone else about it, either – even our other two roommates – although I can’t believe they didn’t start wondering about all the chicks going into my room. Sure, chicks came into and out of my room a lot. But not every day for a month a lot lol.
If there are any college guys reading this and you are thinking of copying the bet, let me give you one piece of advice: don’t try this at home. I’m just glad I’m not in college anymore. I got no idea how anyone in college gets laid today. (And what’s college without getting laid lol?)
Since Jackson and I were living together, he was able to keep an eye on who all was going into and coming out of my bedroom. But there was no rule that I had to sleep will all 30 chicks in my own room. As for the girls who did come back with me to my room, I wasn’t going to let Jackson drill a hole in the wall so he could make sure that the chick and I weren’t doing something dumbass like studying when we should have been having sex.
So we finally decided that the only way to do it would be an honor system.
On my honor as a Tennessean and as a baseball player. Jackson and I took both those very seriously. I would never go back on my honor as a ball player just to win a new glove off somebody.
The only evidence we were creating was a list that I’d keep and hand over to Jackson on October 31st. We agreed that we’d burn it in a Halloween bonfire.
Those were the rules with Jackson. I made myself a few rules, too.
They went something like this:
- No virgins. No chick should have her first time be with a dude who’s banging her to win a bet. That would really be a jerkoff way to take advantage of a girl.
- No one looking for prince charming. Yeah, I know people say I look like the prince in Sleeping Beauty (I don’t see it lol), but I didn’t want to get involved on the bet with chicks who were expecting more than I was offering. It’s not fair to them. And a chick who thinks you’re her prince charming when you’re not can get pretty dang annoying.
- No one unwilling. Any dude who forces himself on a woman deserves to be shot. I mean that literally.
- No one drunk out of her mind. I know you can get into a shitload of trouble today for banging a chick who’s drunk out of her mind. It wasn’t exactly like that four years ago, but chicks who are drunk out of their minds are a pain in the ass. They suck in bed. They pass out when you want them to go home. And some of them throw up you, which is just fuckin gross.
- No one under a 5. Let’s be honest: there is such a thing as your league, and some people just are in it and some are just out of it. Chicks think that way as much as dudes do. (Ask my crazyass bitch 9½ girlfriend about that.) So I wasn’t going to win my bet with Jackson by banging ugly chicks. It’s just not fair to them. (That’s not to say that I’ll never go out with a chick who’s less than a 5. Some of them are real nice and interesting…but you need to get to know them. And the bet had nothing to do with getting to know chicks. It didn’t exactly leave time for it either lol.)
- No angry chicks, especially angry chicks who say they hate jocks. Even if the angry chick goes on about how she hates us and how we’re illiterate cavemen, a big part of the time she’ll have sex with a jock if she gets the chance. Still, who needs all that negativeass bullshit? I sure as hell don’t. Even when I’m not trying to win a bet.
- No lesbians lol.
- No expensive dates, although that was for my sake, not the chick’s. I reckon I could have met a girl on Monday, taken her out to dinner on Tuesday, and then put her on the list that night, but that only works if I already had a Monday girl lined up. And it gets expensive. College girls didn’t expect being taken out to places like the ones Monica makes me take her to, but even if it’s just pizza and beer, multiply that by 30 and it adds up real quickly. So I set myself a price limit: $25 per chick, less if possible. Even then it makes for $600, which is a lot to a college student. (It’s a lot now.) And the investment isn’t worth it for a $350 glove. Except that, in addition to the glove, I was getting laid 30 times and got to win a bet and make my buddy feel like a dumbass. I was reckoning that was worth the other $250 lol.
In other words, if I was going to win that glove, I was going to do it without being a total pigass jerkoff to the female student population of Middle Tennessee State University.
Jerkoff or not, I had my work cut out for me.