Ballerina Pink

I was so worked up over the final score in the Dodgers game on Sunday that I totally forgot to comment on the get ups they had on.

I’ve got a Mom.  I understand Mothers Day.  I also understand that they want to sell ball caps in different colors, since we all already have Dodger blue ones…but…seriously… pink?  Pink caps, pink batting gloves, pink shoes…and pink bats??

Not to mention the fuscia undershirts…  (I respect Chase Utley even more because he didn’t have one of those on!)

When I first saw them, I thought that maybe the team was being punished for playing like shit and they were forcing them to wear embarrassing uniforms on the field.  Kinda like the way our coach back at Middle Tennessee State threatened to make us wear Elsa dresses.  Then I saw that the Reds were all decked out in pink too.

The Reds.  In pink.  Right.  That makes a whole lot of sense.

It just looked so gay.  I wish I’d been in the locker room to hear what the guys said when they found their lockers were full of all that gayass pink gear.  I don’t reckon anyone said “oh good…I was looking forward to pink day since we started spring training!”.  I wonder whether they keep an eye on players in this market and make sure they’re always politically correct.  If so, I also don’t reckon that anyone actually said out loud how gay it looked.

They have to have been thinking it.

Back in Hickory, of course we’d have called all that pink shit gay.  And we had a gay player on the team, too.  He’d probably have laughed the most.  (On the other hand, we would have appreciated free new batting gloves and spikes.  We could always have dyed them black.)

If y’all want to get yourselves a gayass pink Dodgers cap, hurry to hatland.com.  They’re selling like sweet tea in a Georgia summer.  They even have them in extra large sizes.  I know this dude who’s an 8 1/4 — so he could get himself one.  He’s gay, too.  But I don’t think he’d be caught dead in one of those things.

Oh — don’t forget to check out the pink visors they’ve got.  Buy one of those and you can look gay and geeky all at the same time.

It’s got nothing to do with Mothers Day.  I love my Mom.  I think she’s awesome.  But I don’t need to wear a pink ball cap to show it.  As for Meemaw, I’m sure she’d tell me “take that idiotic thing off your head right now…you look like someone dumped a load of cotton candy on your head and you’re gonna start attracting bees.”