The Dodgers are in Deep Doody

I don’t mean to leave y’all hanging about the iPhone and Joyce and the flourless chocolate cake, but something’s gotta be said about the Dodgers.

And soon.

What a mess.

It’s not that Corey Seager was so brilliant and carrying the team this year. I already said how I thought that his performance (or lack of performance) this season probably had to do with the elbow problem for which he just had Tommy John surgery. Maybe it’s just that, without him, I’m able to see how bleak things have gotten.

It’s not just a mess: it’s a fuckin mess. (Sorry, Mom – but sometimes you just have to write the word. At least I left off the G at the end.)

Seriously, Cody, what were you thinking about last night? A bunt on a 3-0 count, one out, bottom of the ninth, behind by two pitch? My little nephew who’s just started T ball knows what you should do in that case. Take. You’ve got nothing to lose: the dude on the mound has been throwing balls, so there’s a good chance he’ll throw another one. From what I understand, the third base coach gave you the sign to take. And you fuckin bunted? And where’d you bunt? Straight to the pitcher! You’re a power hitter – what do you even know about bunting? I’m sure we can dig out the stats from last season, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that boneheaded move last night was your first major league bunt.

Dang, man. Somebody needs to shake you. And hard.

When they asked Dave Roberts about the bunt, his answer was “you’ll have to ask Cody.” That’s fine and it isn’t. I already yelled at Cody, and even if I’m smaller than him, I’m ready to shake some sense into him. He did something really, really stupid. Everybody makes mistakes, and it wasn’t like I thought the team was going to rally, but, still, a fuckin 3 and 0 bunt?

Ok, I’m over it. At least long enough to write this paragraph. There’s something really wrong when your manager puts all the blame on you for your stupidass bunt. It’s not all your fault. Yeah: your manager is partly responsible. He’s supposed to be partly responsible. Dad has an expression: the buck stops here. And, in baseball, the manager is where the buck stops.

Only I guess it doesn’t stop with Dave Roberts with the Dodgers.

That’s a problem.

That lameass bunt didn’t come out of nowhere. Neither did your lameass decision to stop at second on what should have been a triple a few weeks ago. The team has been making lameass choices and making lameass moves all season long…which is why the team is where it is. When you have that many problems with all your players, what you have isn’t a team of lameass bonehads…you have a team with a manager who isn’t managing right. He’s doing something that is making you make lameass mistakes and throw meatballs and strand runners. (They don’t credit you with half a run if all you do is make it to second base.) More than that: he’s not doing something to make you stop doing lameass shit.

(I’m not done.  This reminds me of something that happened with the Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders back when I was on the team.  I’ll get to that in my next post.  Sorry, Joyce.  You’re just going to have to wait.  I told y’all:  my priorities are baseball, bros, beer and banging.  Actually you could change that to:  baseball, bros, beer, blog and banging lol.)