Joyce really liked the idea of me getting dressed up as a witch – not a wizard, like Matteo is getting to be, a witch in a dress and pointy hat – for Halloween.
“And they’re really giving you green makeup?”
“I don’t know for sure,” I said. “I haven’t talked to the makeup man…woman…person…”
“I think you’re going to be absolutely adorable. They’re not going to be able to make you ugly even if they tried, so don’t worry. And you may discover that dresses are a lot more comfortable than pants…”
“Yeah, no thanks.”
“You know what? You shouldn’t tell Keaton. You should surprise him when you go over with the boys to trick or treat. His reaction should look great on TV.”
That was a very good idea, and I decided to go along with it. I gotta admit I was looking forward to seeing the look on his face…and I wasn’t looking forward to explaining to him why I was going to wear a dress.
I met with the makeup person the very next day, when she (Johann was Johanna that day) was getting Maya ready for a segment they were filming at the house.
“Can you really make me green?”
“I can make you any color you want, handsome. I’m just afraid it’s going to be impossible to make you look ugly. You know,” she said, taking a step back to look at me, “maybe what you need is a long nose and pointy chin. I haven’t worked with putty in ages. It’ll be fun.”
“Yeah…but what about the mask I’m gonna have to have on?” I wasn’t sure what putty was…and I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out. “We’re always masked when we’re out and on camera.”
“Well…,” she said, surveying me again, “maybe we could cut holes in the mask to allow the pointy nose and chin to stick out?”
“Actually that would be pretty funny,” I said.
“See? I knew you’d get into it sooner or later. So it’s one putty nose and chin. Oooooh, handsome…this is gonna be fun!”
I wasn’t too sure about that when Cassandra came with the costume for a ‘fitting’ (as Maya kept calling it) a week before Halloween. I was expecting I’d just get a long black dress…kind of like a nightgown. I mean…that’s what witches wear, isn’t it?
Well….not this witch. Cassandra and Maya came up with this dress with what Maya said I should describe as a ‘dark purple floor-length full skirt covered in black net covered with black crystals’. It was way way more gayass than I thought it was going to be, but Cassandra insisted that the big puffy dress was necessary because of my shoulders. I couldn’t exactly say anything, but I had my doubts about the dress.
“It needs something more,” Maya said, looking at me in the dress. “Maybe some black beads. I’ve got lots of those.”
Then I had an idea.
“I think I may have the perfect finishing touch,” I said. “My girlfriend gave me a black diamond necklace one year…it’d look amazing with this.”
“Black diamonds?,” Cassandra asked.
“It’s in the pool house,” I said. “Let me get it to show to you.”
I was so excited that I started to head back to my bedroom still wearing the dress lol. Since it was full of pins, Cassandra took it off me very carefully, then I went to get the necklace, which everyone agreed would look amazing.
Then Cassandra took out the hat, which was very tall and sure as heck wasn’t gonna fit inside the SUV.
That was when I found out that I was getting a wig, too, although it wasn’t ready yet. Turns out they’d given the wigmaker my hat size and he said he could get something that would fit me pretty easily. It was going to be scraggly grey and white hair and they assured me it would look scary.
“You’re going to go viral in this costume, Hunter,” Maya said, after telling me about the wig. “Be prepared.”
“You said you wanted to do something with your shirt on, didn’t you? Well, here you go! Don’t blush. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone’s going to love you in this. You’re going to steal the Halloween show. You’re making me regret that I passed up Robert’s suggestion that I go as a witch and went for the Mistress of the Dark costume instead.”
“At least they’ll recognize you,” I said. “Who’s gonna know it’s me underneath everything you’re having me wear?”
“They’ll know. Nobody I know has blue eyes and shoulders like you.”
Ok, that really made me blush. Maya doesn’t usually talk about how I look.
I know that Halloween is supposed to be for kids, but, around the house, the big topic of discussion all week was my costume. There was even a ‘dry run’ for the makeup, especially to make sure the nose and chin would fit on my face. Johann (he was Johann that day) didn’t cover my whole face in green makeup, but what he did turned out just the right shade of green. It was only then that we realized we were going to have to do something about my hands, since green-faced witches obviously have to have green hands. Johann said that he had no idea where to get green body makeup, and that I was just going to make a mess of the dress if I had goop all over my hands anyway. So he came up with the idea of getting me a pair of black gloves, which Maya said Cassandra could make glittery. I wasn’t sure why everything had to sparkle, but then they explained that, since I was going to be wearing a black dress at night they needed something to catch what light there was going to be…or else I would vanish into the night.
And clearly me vanishing into the night wasn’t something anyone wanted lol.
Not with everything everyone was putting into my Halloween costume.