We Decide to Sue

I know I’ve been kinda bad about keeping the blog up to date, but there’s a lot that’s been happening, and things were pretty tense here after that chick’s filthy book came out that made all those wild accusations about Maya, Robert…and me.

Last I told you about that, me, Maya and Robert were going to the lawyers’ office to see what could be done in terms of suing the author for libel. Although we were pretty sure we were going to sue when we left the lawyers’ office, we thought and talked about it a lot afterwards. Jean-François got in on the discussions too, since, as the producer, he’s responsible for what’s best for the show and we were still trying to figure out how to respond to the book on TV.

Yeah, that means I finally got to meet our producer. He seems a pretty chill guy, which wasn’t want I was expecting, although I don’t know why that was. He even comes to work in jeans and tshirts, although he’s the kind of 40ish dude who goes to the gym all the time and wears his tshirts one size too small to show off. He’s got an expensive watch, too…although it’s ‘only’ a Rolex. So he’s not a Patek Philippe jerkoff lol. He’s 6’ and 190, with brown eyes, brown hair…and not exactly a Keaton Penner haircut. I’m not totally sure, but I have a feeling that he has highlights ‘done’ to his hair…it reminded me of Joyce’s, only, to me at least, it looks pretty weirdass on a dude.

Ok, so y’all are probably thinking he’s super gay, right? Turns out he’s just super ‘metrosexual’…which kinda means that he looks gay but doesn’t act it. I know some chicks really go for that, although do you really want to be with a dude who takes longer to do his hair than you take to do yours? And I’ll bet that Jean-François has a super expensive blow dryer and won’t dry his hair with anything less lol.

According to Sandy, he’s a huge horndog, or at least he was before the pandemic hit. You can tell he’s not the steady girlfriend type, but he got himself one so he could get laid during COVID. Some dudes’ll do anything for sex…even if it means getting a steady girlfriend lol. (No…that’s not what I did with Joyce. I had a steady girlfriend before the pandemic hit…and we even stayed away from each other for the first months of that.) So it turns out I like Jean-François now that I’ve met him, although we haven’t sat down over cigars and some single malt (yeah, he’s definitely a cigars and expensive single malt dude) to swap horndog stories.

At least not yet lol.

He’s also not French, in case y’all were wondering. He’s just got a French first name because his mother was French. His dad was Italian, so he’s got an Italian last name. I gotta admit that names like Jean-François Orsino and Maya Bedrossian looks a heck of a lot more exotic than Hunter Block on the credits…

So the final decision was that we’re suing, the three of us, or, rather, the two of them and me are suing separately. Since the book said that me, Maya and Robert were an unholy threesome, everyone agrees that it’ll look better if I file my own lawsuit. I even have my own lawyer. Michelle is still overseeing the case, but they put the younger dude (the nerdy one) in special charge of Block vs. Ramos. His name’s Josh, and he’s pretty chill too, even if he looks pretty dorkass. He came over to the house to ask me a whole mess of questions last week, some of them pretty dang personal, but, then, I wrote about 30 chicks/30 days in the blog, so you’d think I’d be ok talking about it to someone. There was one slightly weirdass moment when he said to me, “if I looked like you, I guess I’d have slept around that much, too”…but then he added, “don’t worry…I’m not coming on to you. I’m straight. Frustrated…but straight.”

As for what we’re doing on the show about the book, the answer is…nothing. That was what Jean-François and Maya finally decided. We talked a lot about doing something to defend ourselves, but they came to the decision (I really wasn’t a part of it) that talking about the book would only sell more copies and attract attention to all the shit that bitch wrote about us. That made sense…although I already started imagining what it would be like denying everything the book said to the camera. Jean-François said that we should cut down on the “beefcake shots” for the next few weeks, which is fine with me. I’ve been thinking that Ethan’s been telling me to take my shirt off a little too often now that the weather’s warming up. (I did draw the line at shirtless BP with the pitching machine: that would look so gayass I don’t know where to start.)

So we’re just going ahead on the show as though nothing happened. That makes sense to me, bottom line. Jean-François also told us something that some big Hollywood executive said to some star about whom a tabloid published a story about his being secretly gay or something: “today’s newspaper, tomorrow’s toilet paper.”

Although I don’t think I’d even wipe my ass with trash like In Hell with Maya.

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