So – I realize I’ve gotten way behind on this – I was telling you about Christmas over at Joyce’s. (I’m writing this in a hurry, since I’ve got to get over for New Year’s Eve at Joyce’s before it becomes impossible to get across Colorado Blvd. because of tomorrow’s parade.)
Joyce and I exchanged presents before the other guests (Keaton and an older woman who was a friend of Joyce’s, Mrs. LaSalle) arrived. I really wanted to get Joyce the right thing…and sweated it out until only a couple days before Christmas. I didn’t have the biggest budget in the world, but this was my first big chance to get her a present and I wanted her to like what I got her.
We have a Tiffany & Co. on the corner of De Lacey almost next to where I work, and I know enough about jewelry to know that they have some real nice designs in silver for not a shitload of money. I’ve seen some of their things and thought they would make good gifts for a girlfriend, but I haven’t had a lot of girlfriends I’d get something at Tiffany’s for. But now I do.
I know it’s like the thing that everybody knows Tiffany’s makes, but I really do like the little silver teardrop pendant. I’ve seen it on girls before and really liked it. I was seriously considering it for Joyce, but then I thought she has some really nice jewelry and she’d probably never wear a little silver necklace. Then the super gay dude helping me suggested the pendant with the heart hanging off-center – he said it was from the same designer as the teardrop. I like the teardrop better, and the heart was the same little silver necklace problem since she usually wears larger gold chains. (No…not Yasmani Grandal big gold chains. But bigger than a tiny little Tiffany necklace.)
I was liking the idea of a heart, and reckoned that Joyce would like it too. So then the super gay dude showed me this ring that kinda looked like the heart in the heart pendant. (It’s also by the same designer, he said.) It was in silver and was within my budget, so I went for it. I figured she’d be more likely to wear a little silver ring than a little silver necklace. She could wear it with some of her other rings and it wouldn’t be like she was forcing herself to wear some lameass little piece of jewelry her poorass boyfriend gave her. (And it’s not like I was ever going to be able to top the necklace she gave me for my birthday.)
So here’s the ring:
I realize I was giving her a heart. I didn’t want it to say too much, but me and Joyce have been going out for a long time, and a heart made sense to me. And, yeah, fine, I’ll admit it: giving a chick a ring that looks like a heart is a way easier than getting into a whole discussion about how you feel about her.
I did get super nervous right before I pulled the box out of my pocket to give to her. I realized that, shit, I was giving her a ring box from Tiffany’s. What if she thinks…
Ok, so she didn’t think that, even before she opened the box and saw it wasn’t that kind of ring. Still, I scared myself for a couple seconds there.
She was super pleased with the ring, and it fit just right on her index finger. (She has small hands.) That showed me that she understood that it was supposed to be an index finger kind of ring…not a that finger kind of ring.
Whatever finger she put it on, I could tell she loved it. So I reckon I need to thank the super gay dude at Tiffany’s for helping me find it.
Joyce had a big box for me, plus a stocking with a few little things in it. The big box was the main gift…a bathrobe. Like the nicest bathrobe I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s part silk, so it’s super soft, and it’s even pretty elegant: it’s got a breast pocket for a handkerchief. It’s blue with white stripes (y’all know what she thinks about my eyes, so it’s no surprise she got it in blue), and fits just right.
(I’m kind of a weird fit: I’ve got a L body with XL shoulders. I reckon I could wear a tight L and look super gay, but I’m happier with an XL even if it is a little baggy around my middle.)
I got the point that she gave me the robe to keep at her house. She’s been telling me for a while that she was getting tired of the tshirt and basketball shorts I wear to breakfast. So now I’ve got something way better to get biscuit crumbs on lol. It’s cool to have something nice and comfortable like that, and I reckon it’s ok if I keep something more than a toothbrush, comb and one pair of old basketball shorts at Joyce’s.
The stocking was full of some little things she picked up at places like the Stone store (can’t go wrong there) and some candy. She knows I like Hershey’s kisses with almonds, so there was a big bag of those inside along with a $10 Baskin Robbins gift card…since she couldn’t figure out any other way to put ice cream in the stocking lol.
We still had to throw away the wrapping paper when Keaton and Mrs. LaSalle got there. There were more gifts. Joyce and Mrs. LaSalle had something for each other, and me and Keaton kept our presents for each other until we got to Joyce’s. I got him the ideal softball glove for a 2nd baseman his size – he’d been looking for something since this summer, and, well, I know a little more about gloves than the average dude. I could tell I’d picked right as soon as he tried it on. He got me another piece of Dodgers gear, the hat they’d done back for Memorial Day. It’s done in black camouflage and is pretty badass:
Seeing how often I go out in a ball cap, it was a way more practical gift than the gayass pillow for my birthday. (Although the gayass pillow now has a place of honor right in the middle of my couch.)
Keaton and Joyce exchanged real interesting gifts. I could tell they’d thought about them a long time. Super badass Keaton with his truck and his cowboy boots and his beat up leather jacket and his one punch KOs brought…a casserole. Actually it was really cool. He’d made her some authentic Texas chili (he said with the heat turned down for non-Texans.) He explained to Joyce that the Penners always had chili for dinner on December 27, to break up all the turkey leftovers. I’ve never had Keaton’s chili, so I made plans to be at Joyce’s on the 27th.
(The chili was totally awesome, only both Joyce and I were wondering how hot he usually makes it, if this was a version with the heat turned down? It burned in a good way, but dang did it burn on the way down.)
I knew Joyce was worried about what to buy Keaton from the minute she invited him. She didn’t want to get him something to do with sports, and she didn’t know enough about country to get him a CD or anything. She even got angry at me when I couldn’t come up with another idea. When Keaton opened her present (oh yeah, all Joyce’s presents were wrapped like masterpieces again), I was as curious as him to see what was in it.
Turns out she went to a cooking store and gotten him three gadgets for the kitchen: a potato peeler, a lemon squeezer and meat thermometer. Joyce has all three and says they’re the best they have, and that he’ll never want to use another potato peeler again. Y’all know that I know shit about cooking, but it was fun seeing Keaton struggle between being pleased with his gift and coming off all gay for being excited about something for the kitchen
Then it was time to go to table.