My 30th Birthday (part 1)

The first thing I have to write about my 30th birthday is a disclaimer that Jacob and Matteo’s school gives the kids a week’s vacation the week of Veteran’s Day. It’s not all in observance of Veteran’s Day (honestly, I think the school could make a bigger deal out of the holiday, but, then, Dad … Continue reading My 30th Birthday (part 1) →

Three Pickles with Joyce

So back to Joyce and the iPhone. To recap, there we were, in the expensive steakhouse, about to eat our desserts, and I unwrapped the package she’d given me. (Joyce actually wrapped it and didn’t stick it in a stupidass gift bag. It’s way more fun opening a present when you have paper and ribbons to … Continue reading Three Pickles with Joyce →

This Could be a Problem

Okay…so I may have a little problem with one of the “women in my life”… Joyce is buying me stuff. (In case you missed who Joyce was, she's the older woman who hit on me in the store and who made a fortune selling her bitcoins at exactly the right time.) It started out around … Continue reading This Could be a Problem →

The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 2

More of the story of my miserable Valentine's Day this year, after I'd gotten to Monica's apartment and things started going wronger than a monkey driving a lawn mower. Monica went back to finish dressing even before I could hand her the flowers and candy. When she was finally ready (and I was starting to … Continue reading The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 2 →

The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 3

I promised that the evening would get even worse. Here's how it did. We finally got a table, and at least Monica didn’t get pissed off about where it was. She’s done that. I don’t know who she tries to impress, but having to change tables makes me want to crawl under one. It’s a … Continue reading The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 3 →