All Star Break: Monica on Wednesday

So I decided I’d spend the All Star break going out on dates. I reckoned I’d see Monica on Wednesday night and Joyce on Thursday night. If y’all read my blog about the Home Run Derby, you’ll know that I was finishing it up in a hurry because I needed to get ready to go … Continue reading All Star Break: Monica on Wednesday →

Three Pickles with Joyce

So back to Joyce and the iPhone. To recap, there we were, in the expensive steakhouse, about to eat our desserts, and I unwrapped the package she’d given me. (Joyce actually wrapped it and didn’t stick it in a stupidass gift bag. It’s way more fun opening a present when you have paper and ribbons to … Continue reading Three Pickles with Joyce →

The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 5 (and last)

After getting me in his truck and not telling me where we were going Keaton pulled the truck into a parking lot in a deserted-looking part of Arcadia. I knew the place. I'd been to it before. K*******s. It's a topless sports bar. That's a polite way of saying it's a strip club with a … Continue reading The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 5 (and last) →

The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 4

Monica ended our Valentine's Day date by telling me she had to be at work early the next morning. The evening had been a disaster, so I was expecting it. Still, that was the most money I'd ever spent on a girl just to get blown off. I got back in the car and drove … Continue reading The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 4 →

The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 2

More of the story of my miserable Valentine's Day this year, after I'd gotten to Monica's apartment and things started going wronger than a monkey driving a lawn mower. Monica went back to finish dressing even before I could hand her the flowers and candy. When she was finally ready (and I was starting to … Continue reading The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 2 →

The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 3

I promised that the evening would get even worse. Here's how it did. We finally got a table, and at least Monica didn’t get pissed off about where it was. She’s done that. I don’t know who she tries to impress, but having to change tables makes me want to crawl under one. It’s a … Continue reading The Valentine’s Day Massacre Part 3 →